About the book
Originally the idea of the book came from one of Peterson’s answer in Quora service. In a way the book is a super-extended version of the Quora reply.
What are the key learnings?
Key question to Jordan Peterson is order, chaos and shared beliefs that helps people maintain orderly social contract. System of beliefs is also important part of his thinking.
“Order is where the people around you act according to well-understood social norms, and remain predictable and cooperative. Chaos, by contrast, is where—or when—something unexpected happens.”
Peterson is a kind of modern Darwinist. He sees that “chaos and order are two of the most fundamental elements of lived experience—two of the most basic subdivisions of Being itself.” So work is typically chaos. Home is order. “Chaos and order are fundamental elements because every lived situation (even every conceivable lived situation) is made up of both.” Bible is present fairly often and it’s a kind of very North American way of seeing things. But he also mixes in the book the Taoist way of living.
“A shared belief system, partly psychological, partly acted out, simplifies everyone—in their own eyes, and in the eyes of others. Shared beliefs simplify the world, as well, because people who know what to expect from one another can act together to tame the world.”
“A shared cultural system stabilizes human interaction, but is also a system of value—a hierarchy of value, where some things are given priority and importance and others are not.”
Comparison to Harari’s thinking is evident…. “So: no value, no meaning. Between value systems, however, there is the possibility of conflict.
Responsibility…. “We must each adopt as much responsibility as possible for individual life, society and the world.”
Why these rules…. “It indicates clearly that people need ordering principles, and that chaos otherwise beckons. We require rules, standards, values—alone and together.“
Meaning…. “It’s there we find the meaning that justifies life and its inevitable suffering.“
Last, but not least…. “Perhaps, if we lived properly, we wouldn’t have to turn to totalitarian certainty to shield ourselves from the knowledge of our own insufficiency and ignorance. Perhaps we could come to avoid those pathways to Hell—and we have seen in the terrible twentieth century just how real Hell can be.”
RULE 1 STAND UP STRAIGHT WITH YOUR SHOULDERS BACK
Christ: “to those who have everything, more will be given; from those who have nothing”.
We are like lobsters…. “The part of our brain that keeps track of our position in the dominance hierarchy is therefore exceptionally ancient and fundamental. It is a master control system, modulating our perceptions, values, emotions, thoughts and actions. It powerfully affects every aspect of our Being, conscious and unconscious alike. This is why, when we are defeated, we act very much like lobsters who have lost a fight. Our posture droops. We face the ground. We feel threatened, hurt, anxious and weak. If things do not improve, we become chronically depressed. Under such conditions, we can’t easily put up the kind of fight that life demands, and we become easy targets for harder-shelled bullies. And it is not only the behavioural and experiential similarities that are striking. Much of the basic neurochemistry is the same.”
Fixing things…. “It is for such reasons that I always ask my clinical clients first about sleep. Do they wake up in the morning at approximately the time the typical person wakes up, and at the same time every day? If the answer is no, fixing that is the first thing I recommend. It doesn’t matter so much if they go to bed at the same time each evening, but waking up at a consistent hour is a necessity. Anxiety and depression cannot be easily treated if the sufferer has unpredictable daily routines. The systems that mediate negative emotion are tightly tied to the properly cyclical circadian rhythms.”
“The next thing I ask about is breakfast. I counsel my clients to eat a fat and protein-heavy breakfast as soon as possible after they awaken (no simple carbohydrates, no sugars, as they are digested too rapidly, and produce a blood-sugar spike and rapid dip). This is because anxious and depressed people are already stressed, particularly if their lives have not been under control for a good while. Their bodies are therefore primed to hypersecrete insulin, if they engage in any complex or demanding activity.”
Stand-up, eat breakfast and sleep on predictable schedule…. “I have had many clients whose anxiety was reduced to subclinical levels merely because they started to sleep on a predictable schedule and eat breakfast.”
The end-result is…. “People, including yourself, will start to assume that you are competent and able (or at least they will not immediately conclude the reverse).”
RULE 2 TREAT YOURSELF LIKE SOMEONE YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR HELPING
“People are better at filling and properly administering prescription medication to their pets than to themselves.”
Biblical answer. Not my cup of tea and surprising from a scientist…. “And so we return to our original query: Why would someone buy prescription medication for his dog, and then so carefully administer it, when he would not do the same for himself? Now you have the answer, derived from one of the foundational texts of mankind. Why should anyone take care of anything as naked, ugly, ashamed, frightened, worthless, cowardly, resentful, defensive and accusatory as a descendant of Adam?
RULE 3 MAKE FRIENDS WITH PEOPLE WHO WANT THE BEST FOR YOU
“You are not morally obliged to support someone who is making the world a worse place. Quite the opposite. You should choose people who want things to be better, not worse. It’s a good thing, not a selfish thing, to choose people who are good for you. It’s appropriate and praiseworthy to associate with people whose lives would be improved if they saw your life improve.”
“Friendship is a reciprocal arrangement.”
RULE 4 COMPARE YOURSELF TO WHO YOU WERE YESTERDAY, NOT TO WHO SOMEONE ELSE IS TODAY
“Be cautious when you’re comparing yourself to others. You’re a singular being, once you’re an adult. You have your own particular, specific problems—financial, intimate, psychological, and otherwise. Those are embedded in the unique broader context of your existence. Your career or job works for you in a personal manner, or it does not, and it does so in a unique interplay with the other specifics of your life. You must decide how much of your time to spend on this, and how much on that. You must decide what to let go, and what to pursue.”
“Here’s a hint. The future is like the past. But there’s a crucial difference. The past is fixed, but the future—it could be better.”
RULE 5 DO NOT LET YOUR CHILDREN DO ANYTHING THAT MAKES YOU DISLIKE THEM
“Some localize all such problems in the adult, whether in the parent or broader society. “There are no bad children,” such people think, “only bad parents.” Because children, like other human beings, are not only good, they cannot simply be left to their own devices, untouched by society, and bloom into perfection. Even dogs must be socialized if they are to become acceptable members of the pack—and children are much more complex than dogs. This means that they are much more likely to go complexly astray if they are not trained, disciplined and properly encouraged.”
“Rewarding good behaviour can be very effective. The most famous of all behavioural psychologists, B.F. Skinner, was a great advocate of this approach. He was expert at it. He taught pigeons to play ping-pong, although.”
“Discuss your likes and dislikes with regards to your children with your partner or, failing that, a friend. But do not be afraid to have likes and dislikes. You take responsibility for the mistakes you will inevitably make while disciplining. You can apologize, when you’re wrong, and learn to do better.”
RULE 6 SET YOUR HOUSE IN PERFECT ORDER BEFORE YOU CRITICIZE THE WORLD
“Have you cleaned up your life? If the answer is no, here’s something to try: Start to stop doing what you know to be wrong.”
RULE 7 PURSUE WHAT IS MEANINGFUL (NOT WHAT IS EXPEDIENT)
“It is better to have something than nothing. It’s better yet to share generously the something you have. It’s even better than that, however, to become widely known for generous sharing. That’s something that lasts. That’s something that’s reliable.”
Main message: “It was from this that I drew my fundamental moral conclusions. Aim up. Pay attention. Fix what you can fix. Don’t be arrogant in your knowledge. Strive for humility, because totalitarian pride manifests itself in intolerance, oppression, torture and death. Become aware of your own insufficiency—your cowardice, malevolence, resentment and hatred. Consider the murderousness of your own spirit before you dare accuse others, and before you attempt to repair the fabric of the world. Maybe it’s not the world that’s at fault. Maybe it’s you.”
Well said: “To have meaning in your life is better than to have what you want.”
RULE 8 TELL THE TRUTH—OR, AT LEAST, DON’T LIE
Untruth corrupts the soul and the state alike, and one form of corruption feeds the other.
RULE 9 ASSUME THAT THE PERSON YOU ARE LISTENING TO MIGHT KNOW SOMETHING YOU DON’T
“Psychotherapy is genuine conversation. Genuine conversation is exploration, articulation and strategizing. When you’re involved in a genuine conversation, you’re listening, and talking—but mostly listening. Listening is paying attention.”
“People think they think, but it’s not true. It’s mostly self-criticism that passes for thinking. True thinking is rare—just like true listening. Thinking is listening to yourself. It’s difficult. To think, you have to be at least two people at the same time. Then you have to let those people disagree. Thinking is an internal dialogue between two or more different views of the world.”
“Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don’t.”
RULE 10 BE PRECISE IN YOUR SPEECH
RULE 11 DO NOT BOTHER CHILDREN WHEN THEY ARE SKATEBOARDING
Freud, Jung, Nietzsche—and Orwell—that I always wonder, “What, then, do you stand against?” whenever I hear someone say, too loudly, “I stand for this!” I believe it was Jung who developed the most surgically wicked of psychoanalytic dicta: if you cannot understand why someone did something, look at the consequences—and infer the motivation.
RULE 12 PET A CAT WHEN YOU ENCOUNTER ONE ON THE STREET
“Tajfel’s studies demonstrated two things: first, that people are social; second, that people are antisocial. People are social because they like the members of their own group. People are antisocial because they don’t like the members of other groups.”
How should we change according to the book?
Hard to say. It depends on your personal circumstances.
What should I personally do?
Enjoy the silence?
Summary
The book in six words – ”Dreams shed light on the dim places where reason itself has yet to voyage”
